If Relaxation is So Great, Why'd They Make It So Hard?

We've all heard the normal relaxation techniques: deep breathing, get a massage or meditate, get outside and go for a walk. These things are great, but what if you can't do them right now or don't have the time or money? Then they certainly won't help. Or what if they just aren't your thing? Not everyone is going to love yoga, afterall.

There are many ways to relax in this world, but finding what works for you is hard when we are strapped for time. Many people may not consider unconventional options. Take a look below and maybe you'll find that something slightly off the beaten path is more your style.

HERE'S 5 WEIRD WAYS TO RELAX!

  
1. ASMR 

ASMR stands for Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response, and it is a growing field of interest to researchers. Take a look at an ASMR video on youtube, and you may be going, 'Huh?" but the results of listening or watching one are pretty interesting. The theory is that low stimulus sounds, such as whispering, the sound of someone flipping a magazine page, or brushing sand around, are actually very soothing, and help to activate brain waves usually associated with relaxation. It won't necessarily work for everyone, and some sounds might work better than others, but it's gaining interest and followers. Some videos on youtube have upwards of 400,000 views... that's pretty interesting! So go on youtube when you're at work or trying to chill out at home, and find a video. Maybe put in your headphones to block out other sounds, and see if it helps you to relax. Some ASMR-ers also report tingling sensations up their spine, around their skull, and in their hands and feet.

2. Scream 

Far different from listening to the soft soothing sounds of ASMR, sometimes, you just got to get out all the feels. Screaming can be a nice way to rev up and release. If you have a pillow, it might be better to use it to scream into rather than alarm the neighbors by yelling at the top of your lungs outside (that's how the police get called)!  Getting out a good yell can be cathartic, and release energy that may be blocked by stuck emotions. Don't be surprised if you end up having a good cry after your scream. If that happens, just know that whatever was stuck and been cleared, and let your body express itself how it needs. You'll definitely feel better after, and may even be able to come to a better solution because things are flowing more!

3. Rage

One level up from screaming would be raging. Raging would mean getting your body involved. You want to make sure you are alone for this one. Remember, we're not yelling at ourselves, or hurting ourselves or others, but we are going to release pent up anger, frustration, and other pesky emotions by running amok, so to speak. Maybe hit your pillow instead of just screaming into it, run around, punch the air (and only the air), kick, spin around, roll on the ground kicking and screaming, and just let it all out. I often think we do ourselves a disservice by teaching children to store their emotions away rather than let it out with a good tantrum. Life's tough! We could learn something from our youngers, and remember that it's important to respect and honor our feelings by expressing them. If you've been swallowing feelings of anger, frustration, and been overwhelmed, and stressed recently; then a good rage tantrum should do the trick. Just remember to use it as a tool rather than a behavior to fall back on when you're upset over something. Solving the problem should always be number one, but if you are having trouble releasing the frustration the problem created, then a good rage may be just the ticket.

4. Play a game

If you have kids or a dog, then getting out and playing chase, tag, keep away, or something of the sort can really help you make a big shift. If you are without playmates right at the moment, then consider signing up for a league of some sort in a game that you enjoy playing. It doesn't have to be sports either. I have roommates that de-stress by playing video games, but getting your body moving isn't a bad idea, either. Moving around, channeling your energy into something fun and constructive may be just what you need to get out the things that are bothering you and help you see it all from a new perspective.

5. Write a strongly worded letter to whatever is bother you

The letter doesn't have to be to a person, either. I have drafted a letter to the dishwasher before. In the letter I asked the dishwasher why, exactly, it needed to break the same week that I was starting a new job, having my landlord do a walk through, and didn't have the time or the energy to deal with fixing it. While I didn't send the letter (...to the dishwasher, that wouldn't make sense!) because just getting out my frustration with the turn of events helped me to get over it and move on. Writing things down is proven to help you to process them, and release the associated emotions. So whether it's to the dishwasher, or the car, or to Uncle Bill, or the guy who cut you off on the highway, get the emotions out by writing them down. Sending the letter is optional, and not always recommended, but writing it is a help all on it's own!

WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A LIFE COACH AND A LIFE INTERPRETER?

MANY PEOPLE ARE FAMILIAR WITH THE CONCEPT OF A LIFE COACH - BUT WHAT IS A LIFE INTERPRETER?

When Janice used to try to describe herself to people, she would often say she was a life coach with a twist. Eventually, she settled on life interpreter rather than life coach, as the techniques she used in helping people to change their lives was more akin to teaching them to speak a new language than it was in training them for a big game. This metaphor is of course somewhat imprecise, but the take away should be that there is a lot more going on with a session with Janice than there is with a typical life coach. This has to do with her specific perspective and training.

A life coach is a supporter, a confidante, someone who you can feel open with. They are someone who can act as an objective observer in your life. Isn't it true that we can often see what other people should do but it's hard to tell for ourselves what we should do? A life coach can be trained, or untrained, depending on the person. It is not completely unrealistic to think that some people are just better at being objective observers, supporters, and confidantes, and perhaps they wouldn't require training. Others will have a smattering of certificates and trainings. Certainly, licensed psychologists and psychiatrists abound and are well trained. So what makes life interpretation so different from what other people are doing? And what, exactly, are we interpreting?

The easiest answer to this is that we are interpreting your own thoughts, actions and reactions so that you can better understand yourself. Why do you act the way you act? What do you have this job, this sort of relationship? It's deep questioning with often startling answers.  Some people might understand their own motivations and know why they think the way that they think, but surprisingly, most people aren't really sure why they do what they do. Imagine that! Where are you on that spectrum? For most of us, we're operating from our habits, learned behaviors, and false beliefs. It's pretty fascinating when you start to see how you are creating your world from your understanding of it.

You may be surprised to find out that most traditionally trained mental health professionals aren't focusing at all on helping you to re-write your core beliefs. What!? you might be thinking, and I was surprised to learn this too. This idea just hasn't yet made it's way into the mainstream, although it's been very popular in alternative methods and Eastern philosophies for a long time.

The way that Janice has helped people to gain understanding into their programs is typically three fold.

First, to get the hang of this, you need to learn first how to de-stress (most people are way too stressed to even begin to think about changing the way their mind works!).

After people begin to learn how to relax and gain some space in their day to learn about other things, she will talk to them about how energy works. Many studies are coming out about just how interconnected and affected by each other we really are. If someone you don't even know, like a friend's friend, or a neighbor down the street has a bad day, why would that affect you? The answer lies in energy. People are so much more attuned and aware than we give ourselves credit for. The reason for that is that our subconscious is doing much of the processing of the stimulus around us and not letting on to the conscious mind. Surprisingly, even though we aren't consciously aware of it, these stimuli processed by the sub-conscious still affect how we are feeling. In one study done by Cornell University in tandem with Facebook found the following: 

"Over a one-week period in 2012, they changed the content of news feeds for a random sample of Facebook users. For one group of users they removed content that contained positive words, for another group they removed content that contained negative words. They then measured whether subtly biasing the emotional content in this way changed the emotional content of status updates by the users. Sure enough it did. Making feeds more negative led to more negative behaviour, and vice versa."  Source

The good news about this is that as we are learning more about how much we are affected by each other and the subtle subconscious cues we are receiving. We are also learning how to protect ourselves and become more aware so that we can limit the amount of noise triggering emotional responses from our brains. This is the second tier of Janice's work with her clients: she teaches them to protect themselves from unwanted emotional contagions.

Lastly, we talk about beliefs. Learning to control our stress level and the energetic signals we are receiving is really about understanding what exactly is affecting us and sort of wiping off that extra muck that makes it hard for our wheels to spin. While you are really talking about beliefs the whole time you are working with Janice, beliefs become the main focus at some point when you start to master energetic messages and stress. What things are you creating and why? This is by no means the easiest part of your learning, either. Beliefs exist for a reason, typically to protect us. The road to self-awareness isn't necessarily straight. My own journey has had many detours, re-routes (haven't I seen this tree before?) and breakdowns, but it certainly has left me in a much more livened state than when I started. So, will you take this journey with us? Will you learn to interpret your life and in so doing truly awaken to your potential?

This is a BIG learning curve, and an exciting one. Just imagine, if you knew you were creating your life, what you could create differently? I can think of a few things for myself!

That, in summation, is pretty much the difference, from what I can tell, between a life coach and a life interpreter. Let us hear your thoughts!

Coping with Depression at the Holidays

What About When the Most Wonderful Time of the Year.... Isn't....

​​The bright lights and cheerful music can create an ironic backdrop when you're not feeling your best, or when the time of year coincides with sad anniversaries.

Yesterday was the anniversary of the Sandy Hook shooting, which happened not too far away in Newtown, CT.  What a tragic event that was, and how awful for the families who must go into the Holiday season with the recollection of that day and the losses suffered.

In some ways, the Holidays operate as a large collaborative accounting of people's year.  I don't think we intend to, but we put an awful lot of pressure on each other at this time of year to "show up."  Personally, putting up lights, getting a tree, decorating it, and grabbing small gifts and making sure I don't forget anyone or anything starts to feel a bit forced when I'm trying to squeeze it into an already overwhelmed schedule.  

It's easy to feel like you just can't stack up at this time of year.  Even people who generally "have it all together" will fall to pieces at the Holidays if things aren't just so.  

Janice has said that the illusions and fears we hold about life will get bigger and bigger until we do something to address it.  I feel that the Holiday charade has gotten so large, with people literally running each other over to be the first in line, that it seems that the time has come to change how we do this a little bit.

If you're feeling down at the Holidays, try to hang on to the meaning in the season; not the fabricated version, but the intended meaning: gratitude, caring for each other and inner awareness.

Common Holiday Emotions and Tips to Manage Them:

Feelings Resulting from Perceived Lack - Lack is meaning anything that you don't have that you wish you did or think that you should.  Things that might fall into this category include money, time, success, having a family, or partner.  This may cause people to feel sad, frustrated, or even angry that things aren't different.

Tips to Manage: Instead of focusing on what you don't have or what you wish was different, make a list of things that you do have that you can be grateful for.  

• Money lack: If you don't have alot of money to buy people gifts, see what you do have and try to do something thoughtful that won't break the bank.  It doesn't help anyone for all of us to be spending ourselves into the poorhouse.  Making something is a wonderful way to show someone that you care, even if it's cardboard ornaments, or a reusable rice heating pad.  

• Time lack: If you feel like you don't have enough time to do what you want then take a look at where your time is going.  Keep track of your movements for three days.  Where does your time mostly go?  Sometimes awareness shows us that we aren't using time to it's greatest advantage.  If you want to go Holiday shopping, perhaps you can schedule that in over a few days, rather than trying to do a marathon store run.  Online shopping also makes it easier to manage time and shopping.  If you just wish you had more time to spend with loved ones, communicate that to them, and perhaps create space away from tech and tv to have some quality time.  No plan gets created if people don't express their interest or need for one!

• Lack in Success:  Like money lack, success lack often results from looking at what we don't have rather than what we do.  What have you accomplished this year?  If you take a look at everything that happened this year, you may be surprised to see that you did way more than you thought.  Don't compare yourself to someone else.  Everyone is fighting their own battle, and you don't know what someone else's life is like, no matter what pretense they may put up.  If you've taken steps to pursue your own happiness in any capacity this year, and I bet you have, then you have been, and continue to be, successful.

• Lack in Family or Partner Relationships: If you struggle with feeling that your personal relationships should be further along than they are or if you are coping with loneliness at the Holidays then consider why you feel this way.  Everything has two sides.   Relationships and families have their own stresses and pressures.  While it may seem attractive from the outside, getting involved and creating a family in the wrong circumstances will not solve your problem of loneliness.  Waiting for the "right" one may feel like an endless wait, but feeling like your life should be further along is pointless if the person you're meant to be with just hasn't arrived into your life yet.  Find a way to take the focus off of you, maybe by volunteering or giving back in some way.  Many, many elders spend the Holidays alone.  Again, be grateful for the ones in your life, spend time with them, and see what you can learn from the friendships and other connections you do have rather than pining for something you don't.

Feelings Resulting from Not Being Able to Do It All -  Juggling alot at the Holidays has become a skill that even a circus clown would find challenging.  I personally know many people who begin their Christmas shopping in September just to get ahead of the curve.  Between getting something special for the ones you love, trying to spend quality time, baking and cooking, preparing for Holiday dinners, and getting all the decorations up, you're somehow supposed to have time to relax and reflect on the season.  Many of us never get to that last part.

Tips to Manage:  What can you cut out without too much of a backlash, while still enjoying the season.  What, really, are your priorities, and what do you only think you should do?  Focus on your priorities, and let the other stuff go.  If you don't actually enjoy decorating the house, foundation to roof, in Christmas lights, then don't do it!  Invest your time in the things that will bring you joy, and you'll be more joyful - imagine that!

Feelings of Not Feeling Cared About - It's easy to feel slighted at the Holidays.  Everyone is running around crazy.  Especially if we have a belief of not being cared about, it's easy to find that proof in Holiday gifts or lack thereof, people not pitching in, or feeling that your good intentions are going unnoticed.  If you want to find out more about how to manage this particular belief, I suggest tuning into our podcast: How to Survive Earth School, available on Itunes and Soundcloud, for a special episode on How to Survive the Holidays!  


In Conclusion:
Be well, everyone.  Remember to shake it off, and I highly suggest taking one of Janice's classes on learnitlive.com to learn more about how energy and other people's emotions can easily be transferred to us.  It's really important, especially since most people are much more sensitive than they believe, that we all start understanding how we affect each other!

​- Christine

Gratitude Exercises For Happiness

When Thanksgiving comes around, we may often find ourselves running back to the grocery store at 10am for that last minute purchase, pulling our hair out, or engaged in a seething inner argument about whether to let that last comment from Aunt Edna go, rather than practicing gratitude as the Holiday suggests.

It brings up an interesting aspect of the Holidays.  The meaning of the season often gets left behind as people scramble for Black Friday deals, and bend over backwards to give their families the best that they can with limited time and, often, limited budgets.

In a recent newsletter sent out to our mailing list, Janice implores us to remember that there are many people in the world who cannot celebrate or do not have anyone to celebrate the holidays with.  It's a good reminder, especially as we eye Aunt Edna gearing up for a tirade...

In years past, the holidays have felt forced to me.  Thanksgiving's original celebration seems overshadowed by the grim events that followed for the indigenous people who were helpful to the settlers that first Thanksgiving.  Christmas, too, has felt less and less about the original purpose i.e. celebrating the religious holiday and birth of Christ, and more like a consumption riddled frenzy.  I'm not religious, so attempts to make it feel more sacred aren't necessarily the answer.

Somewhere under all the glitter, and the signs, and the deals, and the gluttony; there is a real reason for celebrating the holidays.  I would like to tease this out of the rituals and habits visited each season without much thought.

It seems to make sense to go back to the root of the Holidays.  Despite what happened since; Thanksgiving is a day in which friends and family gather, after the Harvest, to express their thankfulness.  Gratitude itself is such a wonderful and important part of a healthy lifestyle.  Many studies have shown that those that practice gratitude everyday tend to be more optimistic and healthier.

This article from Harvard mentions several such studies where the outcome proved, once again, all the benefits of practicing gratitude.

If we are to take anything from the Holidays; perhaps it should be that this feeling is one that shouldn't occur only once or twice a year, but something that we practice all year long.

This isn't a new concept, by any means, but it's one that we see people struggling to put into action.

Exercises for gratitude can include:

• Journaling each day and listing something you are grateful for, no matter how inane or seemingly unimportant.
• Remembering to thank the people in your life for their assistance and for going out of their way for you.
• Looking at the things we often feel plagued or upset by and trying to find something positive in it; perhaps a lesson learned, a connection, or recognition of having overcome it.  Be grateful for the silver lining.
• At meal times remembering to be thankful for your food, and sharing that gratitude out loud with those you may eat with, or thanking those that prepared the meals not only verbally but in your actions (perhaps by helping to clean up).

Christmas, too, can have the the true meaning teased out.  If Thanksgiving is expressing thanks and practicing gratitude, that I see Christmas as a time of giving and showing people we care and appreciate them.  Here are some of the ways to do this other than opening you wallet too wide:

• Have a story time, let everyone share something from their life that the others may not know and really listen to them.  Our culture typically has us glossing over the meaningful things in our lives and staying very surface with each other.  Practice deep listening.
• Make something for someone, especially something that you know that they really need.  Again, this means having listened and paid attention to each other.
• Do something nice for the other person, if that means helping them dig snow or clean up the house, bake something or invite them to dinner.  Actions can often speak louder than words.  What has someone in your life been putting off for a long time that you can help with?
• Let people know you love and appreciate them.  Use the traditional 12 days of Christmas as a starting point, and maybe leave them a note for each day with something else you appreciate about them.  If we do not tell someone we care and appreciate them, they may not know!

In other suggestions, planning to do something together in the future, or to work on a project together, create something, or help another with something, go on a trip or otherwise spend time together is another wonderful way to surpass the over-materialism of the Holidays.  

Experiences and spending time together is what it's all about, learning and growing with each other!  

Let me be clear that I have nothing specifically against present giving - it's more the unconscious purchasing of things that people do not need or cannot use very much just as a sort of throw away giving that I dislike. The world needs us to be more thoughtful with our consumption, and in the end; I believe it detracts from the purpose of the season.  If getting the mashed potatoes just right is going to take you away from actually enjoying your Holiday, then screw the mashed potatoes and eat chips with your turkey.  

Let yourself have fun and play with the Holiday, trying your best but not beating yourself up if for some reason it doesn't go the way you expected.  

Focus on your intention of gratitude and giving and all will go right!

​
- Christine

Who is a Bully?

We've all had issues with bullying in some capacity....


 "Don't pick on her," Jessica said angrily.  We all stood stock still, gaping at the girl who said something to the ones picking on a girl in our class, Maddie.

"Thank you, Jessica," Maddie said in a way that made it seem like she just won an academy award.  I was shocked.  Who was I in all this? I was the bully, and Jessica had just stood up for the girl I was bullying.

I don't remember what I had said to Maddie, but a few friends and I were poking fun at her.  We were in 5th grade. 

The reason we bullied Maddie is because, honestly, she was an easy target.  She was different, maybe a little nerdy, and a little socially awkward.  Basically, she was everything I didn't want to be (but was, anyway) and since I didn't like myself and was afraid to be myself, it seemed the thing to do was to attempt to separate out the things I didn't like about myself.  I did this by finding them in someone else and ridiculing them for it.  I was trying to prove that I was different than her, but instead I made myself into something far worse - a hypocrite and a bully.  It took a long time to figure out what I was doing and begin to accept and appreciate the pieces of myself that I had made fun of in Maddie.

It all seems pretty cut and dry, but there's more to it than that.  Through my work with Janice; I've begun to learn about energy and beliefs. Have you ever been feeling fine, and then you'll get a phone call from someone who is complaining about something they are trying to do and how they can't get it right?  Instead of just calmly being able to answer their question or reassure them they can do it,  you may begin to feel angry or frustrated with them. You respond with criticism or lash out; telling them that they should know how to do this already or ask them, "how many times are you going to call me with the same stupid thing," etc.  What we don't realize is this:

People who feel bad about themselves can draw out anger, frustration, or ridicule with their energy, especially from those closest to them. We can mirror what others feel about themselves without even realizing that is what is happening. 

Have you ever been feeling really bad about yourself, like you just can't do it, or you feel like you're a real screw up; and then someone comes along and says something to reinforce this idea?

I'll give you an example: I was running behind one morning and didn't clean up my dishes from breakfast.  As I'm walking out the door, I am feeling frustrated, like I just can't get anything right, be on time for anything, and am generally just a disaster.  As I am driving to work; I get a message from my roommate "Can you please clean up after yourself!? You always leave things a mess!" it said.  I already felt bad about not being able to do my dishes, and I was beating myself up for running late.  Then, I get this message and it just reiterates to me that I am a screw up.  

It felt awful.  But is it real?  

My roommate was responding to the way I already felt, and her emotions, fears, and beliefs got mixed in there too.

Bullies and their victims often share similar beliefs.  Often, they both feel there is something wrong with them, that they won't be accepted the way they are, that they don't matter, and/or that they can't do anything right.  For these reasons, they feel they are different or don't fit in.  We often hear in our work that people feel like they just don't really belong, that no one will accept them the way they are and that no one really cares.  Underlying all of this, are the feelings that we are "not good enough."  The difference is in what people do with it.  Some people hide, and hold their energy in close to themselves. They are fearful that others will see their flaws and they try to keep people from seeing them.  They don't feel good about themselves and try not to draw attention to themselves. They can feel very victimized by the people around them and the world.

The second type of person is someone whose fear and dislike for themselves is also profound, but instead of turning in; they turn out. The will strike first, draw attention to others, ridicule, can be abusive and mean.  By doing this, they feel more powerful. Instead of being the victim they become the victimizer.  They use their abusive actions and judgements to make themselves feel better, feel like they matter, and/or are important. They instead choose to focus that dislike outside themselves and blame others.  

People are afraid to really be seen, but how we handle it will differ from person to person.  A bully and their victim typically have more in common then people really realize.  It is a relationship that is built on the beliefs they share about themselves.  It is almost more like a dance.  One of the ways Janice helps people manage bullies is to teach them about this energy connecting them, and help them to alter or change it so that the bully isn't drawn so much towards the would-be victim.  She also emphasizes the need for the group to stand up against bullies.  Many people are afraid that they'll be next if they stand up to a bully, but typically a person who doesn't feel bad about themselves already can stand up to a bully and avoid becoming a victim.  Even if the bully says something mean; it won't affect them because they feel good about themselves.

Bullying is a real problem, and one of the biggest issues with it is that a lot of adults actually bully. It may seem different, or that we have a good reason for the way we treat others. The judgement, the hate, and the fear may feel different than when we were children.  We may have grown up but we, most of us anyway, have not grown out of our own insecurities that we felt as children. We are the role models for our children and what we teach them, whether we know it or not, is very much the same cycle as what we learned.  It is possible to change this, but it must change from a standpoint of awareness, not blame. Most of us don't go around hurting others on purpose, and if we do it is because we feel we have been hurt. 

Bullying isn't a child thing, it's a people thing and a world epidemic.

That's why we call our program Bullying Exposed.  We are working on getting to the root causes of bullying: which are our feelings of low self worth and self esteem, and our feelings of not being good enough.  We try so hard to be the same or to fit in with the crowd instead of embracing our differences. 

Bullies are really people who are just afraid of their own insecurities.  When kids, adults, organizations, or governments bully; it's because they are afraid.  Often, they are trying to make themselves feel better by highlighting the difference between themselves and the people or ideas they are ridiculing.

​We have to help people who abuse, try to control, make fun, and cut others down understand what they are actually doing, which is really just hiding behind their fear/anger and not actually dealing with the real problem.  They think that by hurting others; they will make themselves feel better.  Well, I can tell you from first hand experience that this is not the case.  When Jessica stood up for Maddie that day; I felt really bad about what I had done.  Here, Jessica was one of the more popular girls in school, and I wasn't.  The fact that she would stand up for Maddie, a girl who I considered "below me" really stuck with me, and I realized that what I had done was wrong and I was really mad at myself.  I had been punishing myself for a long time for that, believing myself to be a mean or bad person, and treating myself as if I was.

It is worth noting that the teacher was right there, and hadn't said anything to myself or the other girls.  It was only Jessica who said something, and then, after the fact, the teacher gave her a pat on the back for sticking up for Maddie.  Janice says that this is actually a good thing.  The adults shouldn't get involved with the group dynamics of the kids.  Children need to learn to band together as a group to stand up against bullies.  Otherwise, they will always be looking for an authority figure to protect them or handle their problems.  This is all well and good until there isn't one to be found.  

As a side note- I really wish that at some point, the teacher had spoken to me about why I bullied Maddie, and helped me understand that the anger and frustration I was feeling was a normal thing to feel at that age, but that I needed to find ways to deal with it other than lashing out.  Another options was if she had helped to facilitate a talk with Maddie where we went into bigger depth about what it had made Maddie feel for me to be mean to her, and why I had done it in the first place.  It's important to realize that bullies are hurting too.  They just are funneling that pain into anger and hate rather than into sadness.  I'm not saying it's excusable, especially when people know better, but it is understandable, and what's more, given time, patience, and practice; I do believe it is possible to fix as well.  We need to expose the dynamic that creates bullies and we need to help victims to begin to gain self confidence and love for themselves so they don't present as targets so easily.

No one is truly a victim, we all have a choice about how we feel.  No one can make us feel anything.  They can try.  But on some level we have to agree with them.  We have a choice how we react to people.  Awareness is key.

It's worth mentioning that in my youth; I was bullied, too.  I had blocked this out for a long time,  but I remembered recently that in 3rd grade, my whole class made fun of me for having a crush on a boy.  I think someone had overheard me say something and it began to spread throughout the classroom.  Everyone began singing and chanting, "Christine has a crush on Jeremy" and I got really upset, and started to cry because he was sitting there.  I didn't go back to school for two weeks.  So, maybe that has something to do with why I wouldn't want to feel vulnerable anymore, and made fun of another girl.  And that is typically the way it will go.  Bullying is a cycle, just like abuse is a cycle.  People learn it somewhere, and it's usually because they have been hurt and don't want to let that happen again.  I have learned alot just from looking at the ways I have been hurt in my life and how I then changed my behavior to try to protect myself from further hurts.  If you've ever had an experience with bullying, whether you are the bullied or the bully; I highly suggest you begin to explore the programs we offer here at Miylana and Bullying Exposed.  Janice offers much in the way of workshops and resources to begin to identify the parts in you that were hurt, felt victimized, or lashed out to protect.  As Janice says,

"Most people are not trying to hurt you unless they are mentally unsound.  If they are hurting you, it's because they themselves are in pain."

Learn more about bullies and ways to use your energy to protect yourself, check out upcoming Energy Affects classes or our Bullying Exposed programs.

The Season Of Change- How do I Change My Life

There are two things that we can all be looking at right now to totally transform our experience of the world.  The first is to look at what our energy is doing.  Energy, as we say, is everywhere and is everything.  From a blade of grass to the sun's rays, a beautiful piece of music, and the light flickering in the store; we relate to our world and each other through the exchange of energy.  Energy can come in many forms and we express it in many different ways.  Learning how to manage our energy is absolutely pivotal for this time.  What signals are you sending?  Identifying these will be the key to understanding your world.  Just as important is recognizing the energetic messages you are receiving.  We are a receptor as much as we are an antennae.  If you do not begin to actively work on identifying what messages are coming from outside of you; you will have a very challenging time going forward.  Have you been feeling crazy?  Overwhelmed?  Anxious?  Most likely, much of that feeling is coming from outside yourself.  If you do not recognize that the feeling is coming from outside yourself, however, the experience of life can be maddening.

What are you doing to manage the energy exchange in your life?  If your answer is nothing, we need to change that.

The second thing we can all be doing to totally transform our experience of the world is to begin to identify how what you believe, or what you expect from life, actually creates the experience of it.  The one thing we should all be asking ourselves is "what is this showing me?"

"What is this showing me" is a question to ask frequently to better see your patterns.  It calls your experience into question, and highlights the assumptions you are making day in and day out about life.  We assume so much, jump to conclusions, and live from an understanding based in our own false perception.  I know that it can seem utterly bizarre to think that you are creating your world, but you are.  Just remember that for every one explanation you have given to the reason something has happened; there are literally hundreds of others.

We are going to be exploring these topics much more going forward.  It's time to move from
"I know I should be doing this..." to actually doing it.  It's so important you do the work right now, and recognize the message you are sending to yourself and others through the communication of your energy and beliefs.

We have a few opportunities to go more in depth with these concepts.  I highly suggest you attend an Energy Affects class.  We have class a few times in November and December (www.miylana.com).  We are offering a two part seminar on energy.  These teleseminars are the beginning of training's we will be offering entitled Magic and Mysteries.  These first two will take an in depth look at the idea of energy and explore tools to protect yourself, project yourself more clearly, and recognize energetic messages from others.  If you still haven't shared this work with your friends and family; now is the time to do so.  It's so important that everyone begin to recognize just how they are creating their life and how energy works.  We can help so many people if we start to understand, use the tools, and more fully explain how all of this works.  It's time to give everyone the gift of new perception!
​
​- Christine

How to Raise Your Vibration

"Raise your vibration" is a term that is thrown around a lot these days, and especially in the sort of work we do here at Miylana.  Janice relays often that the earth is going through an intense period of change where the planet's vibration is becoming faster/higher.  If you are curious about how and why this is happening, I suggest an article by Our Ultimate Reality for an explanation on vibrational changes in our world.

Vibration can be used to describe the physical characteristic of a particle or wave, and this is it's more scientific usage.  We also use it to describe the feeling we may get from someone, as in "he gave me a weird vibe," or the Beach Boys' famous song "Good Vibrations."  For our purposes, these terms can be almost combined into the characteristic energy of a person or thing that another can perceive or detect.

One of the effects of the vibration of the Earth raising is that information, other people's energy and emotion, is traveling much faster.  This can effect us by making us feel ungrounded, really sensitive to things like light and sound or each other, and we may feel more emotional.  Emotions are energy too.  If you are all over the place with regard to your emotions, do some of the following exercises to help yourself ground and re-calibrate the energy.  These exercises help you to ride the wave of the energy, as opposed to being stuck under the swell getting crushed by the power of the breaking wave.  When you are aligned with the higher vibration, you will feel more joyous.  When you aren't, well then - watch out!

THOUGHTS, ENERGY, AND EMOTIONAL CONTAGIONS

Janice teaches that thoughts and feelings have energy.  I believe we can all relate to this idea.  When we meet up with a friend who is having a tough time, we may recognize that something is the matter before we even speak to them.  Our minds and bodies are very adept at picking up on cues, and so some people may explain this away as our subconscious minds being aware of the person's state of distress as evident from an obvious clue, like bags under their eyes, or clothes in disarray, etc.  But if a person has no perceivable change to their exterior, we can still recognize how they are feeling.  Sadness, happiness, and excitement all have characteristic energetic signatures that an attuned antennae can pick up from another person.

We can also pick up emotions from each other.  In Psychology, they call this the emotional contagion, and many studies confirm what we know intuitively.  One person feeling downtrodden or angry has been shown to effect the people close to them.  Thoughts, feelings, and even reading rude words, or being exposed to angry or violent media will also have an effect on how we feel and go about our lives.

We absorb the attitudes and emotions of what we are exposed to, and often act on them.  We feel less happy with ourselves and our performance when we are around unhappy people.  Even though this emotion begins with someone else, we take it on as our own.

Thoughts have energy - are energy, in fact.  Neurons in our brain interact, releasing various chemical and electrical signals.  Tendencies of human behavior including facial mimicry, and related brain chemistry indicate that we commonly and unintentionally pass around and feel the effects of another person's bad, or good mood.

Learning how to be in control, rather than at the whim of this process is a major aspect of working with Janice.  It often entails figuring out how to identify when something - a feeling or a thought - isn't actually yours, and learning to override it with your own, more positive, feeling or thought.  Practice makes perfect here.

So where does vibration come in?  While we cannot, yet, measure someone's vibration; the idea is that low vibrational energy encompasses all of the feelings we typically find uncomfortable, such as anger, fear, frustration, sadness, or worry.  These feelings often result in disordered thoughts, and chemical changes in the brain that increase in power the more these feelings are felt.  This contrasts to high vibrational energy.  High vibrational energy results from positive thinking, feelings like joy and happiness.  You might, literally, feel like you are walking on air.  This feeling is excited and gifts you with the feeling that you are elevated, aware and can see potential pitfalls and problems from above.  Others can also feel this heightened joyful feeling when they are around you, and may feel happier around you.

Still, it's easy to get wrapped up in a negative emotion and fall back into a lower vibration.

Studies have also shown that a negative event holds multiple times the impact of a positive one.  That means that when something bad happens, it makes a much bigger impression and takes longer to recover from than a positive event.  '“Put another way, you are more upset about losing $50 than you are happy about gaining $50,”' relays this article from the NY Times.  When we come into contact with a negative person, you are more likely to get pulled into their bad mood than pull them out of it.

So what does all this mean?  It means that you have to work, really work, to maintain a healthy positive or even just neutral outlook.  Our psychology, and our brains are hardwired to pay attention to the negative, to absorb those uncomfortable emotions from others, and to emulate them.

So let's talk about how to raise your vibration.  It should follow, based on the studies and information above, that much of it has to begin in the brain - with your thoughts.  I asked Janice what we should do to improve our vibration and make it easier to have a positive outlook.  Here's what she said:

A FEW WAYS TO RAISE YOUR VIBRATION:

1.  SHUT UP.

No, really, this is what she said.  She said we really need to shut up and listen more.  Not necessarily to each other, but to ourselves.  Our own thoughts.  She said many of us are not at all aware of what we are thinking, and so can more easily be affected by those around us.

2.  SAY/THINK SOMETHING POSITIVE- CREATE A MANTRA

Replace your repetitive inner monologue ("I have to get to the bank, I don't have time, I'm late for this thing, my friend is being an asshole, I want this thing and it's not happening, ugh!") with something much more positive.  Create your own personal mantra full of significant keywords for what you really need in your life: not a better job but more happiness, not more money but more abundance, not someone to listen to you and do what you want all the time but more love.

Ex: I am in the process of creating my life.  I now call more love, abundance, peace, and joy into my life.

Then repeat it.  Whenever you fall into a negativity trap and begin to feel dissatisfied, use your mantra, and smile.  Smiling has a wonderfully positive impact on the brain.

3.  TAKE A BREAK.

We're all running around like chickens with our heads cut off most of the time, are aren't in touch with how we really feel.  People really do need to learn to stop, and take a break.  In Janice's words, "feel the sun on your face."  When you do this, you may be surprised to see that you are actually feeling fine, and whatever was happening before was a result of rushing, or being around someone who is giving off some low vibrational energy.

4.  SHAKE IT OFF.

This is one of Janice's go to exercises.  Put on some upbeat music and shake, moving your body, and imagine excess energy falling into the Earth to be recycled.  Do this for a few minutes, and then put on a slower, more meditative song.  Stand still, rooted to the Earth.  Your hands should be placed on your belly below your belly button and over your hip bones.  Feel comfortable and breathe deep, imaging white light entering your head through the top of your skull and filling you from the bottom up.

IN CONCLUSION

While we still can't measure our own vibration and see where we are at on a high to low scale, we can certainly be aware of it and recognize that when we are feeling better; things go smoother, and we can find more joy in them.  High vibrational energy is all around us, carrying with it energetic signals and messages that come in the form of intuition when we can match them with our own high vibrational energy.  If we are vibrating lower, they may feel more like anxiety and seem overwhelming.  If we really aren't receptive to them, they can jam the circuits of our mind so to speak, and we may feel like hiding or numbing out.  Regardless, this energy is here to stay so the better choice would be to learn how to thrive in it.  If you do, you'll see that other things don't effect you so much, and that, what's more, you can have a positive impact on those around you.  Now, those are some good vibes.