Coping with Depression at the Holidays

What About When the Most Wonderful Time of the Year.... Isn't....

​​The bright lights and cheerful music can create an ironic backdrop when you're not feeling your best, or when the time of year coincides with sad anniversaries.

Yesterday was the anniversary of the Sandy Hook shooting, which happened not too far away in Newtown, CT.  What a tragic event that was, and how awful for the families who must go into the Holiday season with the recollection of that day and the losses suffered.

In some ways, the Holidays operate as a large collaborative accounting of people's year.  I don't think we intend to, but we put an awful lot of pressure on each other at this time of year to "show up."  Personally, putting up lights, getting a tree, decorating it, and grabbing small gifts and making sure I don't forget anyone or anything starts to feel a bit forced when I'm trying to squeeze it into an already overwhelmed schedule.  

It's easy to feel like you just can't stack up at this time of year.  Even people who generally "have it all together" will fall to pieces at the Holidays if things aren't just so.  

Janice has said that the illusions and fears we hold about life will get bigger and bigger until we do something to address it.  I feel that the Holiday charade has gotten so large, with people literally running each other over to be the first in line, that it seems that the time has come to change how we do this a little bit.

If you're feeling down at the Holidays, try to hang on to the meaning in the season; not the fabricated version, but the intended meaning: gratitude, caring for each other and inner awareness.

Common Holiday Emotions and Tips to Manage Them:

Feelings Resulting from Perceived Lack - Lack is meaning anything that you don't have that you wish you did or think that you should.  Things that might fall into this category include money, time, success, having a family, or partner.  This may cause people to feel sad, frustrated, or even angry that things aren't different.

Tips to Manage: Instead of focusing on what you don't have or what you wish was different, make a list of things that you do have that you can be grateful for.  

• Money lack: If you don't have alot of money to buy people gifts, see what you do have and try to do something thoughtful that won't break the bank.  It doesn't help anyone for all of us to be spending ourselves into the poorhouse.  Making something is a wonderful way to show someone that you care, even if it's cardboard ornaments, or a reusable rice heating pad.  

• Time lack: If you feel like you don't have enough time to do what you want then take a look at where your time is going.  Keep track of your movements for three days.  Where does your time mostly go?  Sometimes awareness shows us that we aren't using time to it's greatest advantage.  If you want to go Holiday shopping, perhaps you can schedule that in over a few days, rather than trying to do a marathon store run.  Online shopping also makes it easier to manage time and shopping.  If you just wish you had more time to spend with loved ones, communicate that to them, and perhaps create space away from tech and tv to have some quality time.  No plan gets created if people don't express their interest or need for one!

• Lack in Success:  Like money lack, success lack often results from looking at what we don't have rather than what we do.  What have you accomplished this year?  If you take a look at everything that happened this year, you may be surprised to see that you did way more than you thought.  Don't compare yourself to someone else.  Everyone is fighting their own battle, and you don't know what someone else's life is like, no matter what pretense they may put up.  If you've taken steps to pursue your own happiness in any capacity this year, and I bet you have, then you have been, and continue to be, successful.

• Lack in Family or Partner Relationships: If you struggle with feeling that your personal relationships should be further along than they are or if you are coping with loneliness at the Holidays then consider why you feel this way.  Everything has two sides.   Relationships and families have their own stresses and pressures.  While it may seem attractive from the outside, getting involved and creating a family in the wrong circumstances will not solve your problem of loneliness.  Waiting for the "right" one may feel like an endless wait, but feeling like your life should be further along is pointless if the person you're meant to be with just hasn't arrived into your life yet.  Find a way to take the focus off of you, maybe by volunteering or giving back in some way.  Many, many elders spend the Holidays alone.  Again, be grateful for the ones in your life, spend time with them, and see what you can learn from the friendships and other connections you do have rather than pining for something you don't.

Feelings Resulting from Not Being Able to Do It All -  Juggling alot at the Holidays has become a skill that even a circus clown would find challenging.  I personally know many people who begin their Christmas shopping in September just to get ahead of the curve.  Between getting something special for the ones you love, trying to spend quality time, baking and cooking, preparing for Holiday dinners, and getting all the decorations up, you're somehow supposed to have time to relax and reflect on the season.  Many of us never get to that last part.

Tips to Manage:  What can you cut out without too much of a backlash, while still enjoying the season.  What, really, are your priorities, and what do you only think you should do?  Focus on your priorities, and let the other stuff go.  If you don't actually enjoy decorating the house, foundation to roof, in Christmas lights, then don't do it!  Invest your time in the things that will bring you joy, and you'll be more joyful - imagine that!

Feelings of Not Feeling Cared About - It's easy to feel slighted at the Holidays.  Everyone is running around crazy.  Especially if we have a belief of not being cared about, it's easy to find that proof in Holiday gifts or lack thereof, people not pitching in, or feeling that your good intentions are going unnoticed.  If you want to find out more about how to manage this particular belief, I suggest tuning into our podcast: How to Survive Earth School, available on Itunes and Soundcloud, for a special episode on How to Survive the Holidays!  


In Conclusion:
Be well, everyone.  Remember to shake it off, and I highly suggest taking one of Janice's classes on learnitlive.com to learn more about how energy and other people's emotions can easily be transferred to us.  It's really important, especially since most people are much more sensitive than they believe, that we all start understanding how we affect each other!

​- Christine

The Season Of Change- How do I Change My Life

There are two things that we can all be looking at right now to totally transform our experience of the world.  The first is to look at what our energy is doing.  Energy, as we say, is everywhere and is everything.  From a blade of grass to the sun's rays, a beautiful piece of music, and the light flickering in the store; we relate to our world and each other through the exchange of energy.  Energy can come in many forms and we express it in many different ways.  Learning how to manage our energy is absolutely pivotal for this time.  What signals are you sending?  Identifying these will be the key to understanding your world.  Just as important is recognizing the energetic messages you are receiving.  We are a receptor as much as we are an antennae.  If you do not begin to actively work on identifying what messages are coming from outside of you; you will have a very challenging time going forward.  Have you been feeling crazy?  Overwhelmed?  Anxious?  Most likely, much of that feeling is coming from outside yourself.  If you do not recognize that the feeling is coming from outside yourself, however, the experience of life can be maddening.

What are you doing to manage the energy exchange in your life?  If your answer is nothing, we need to change that.

The second thing we can all be doing to totally transform our experience of the world is to begin to identify how what you believe, or what you expect from life, actually creates the experience of it.  The one thing we should all be asking ourselves is "what is this showing me?"

"What is this showing me" is a question to ask frequently to better see your patterns.  It calls your experience into question, and highlights the assumptions you are making day in and day out about life.  We assume so much, jump to conclusions, and live from an understanding based in our own false perception.  I know that it can seem utterly bizarre to think that you are creating your world, but you are.  Just remember that for every one explanation you have given to the reason something has happened; there are literally hundreds of others.

We are going to be exploring these topics much more going forward.  It's time to move from
"I know I should be doing this..." to actually doing it.  It's so important you do the work right now, and recognize the message you are sending to yourself and others through the communication of your energy and beliefs.

We have a few opportunities to go more in depth with these concepts.  I highly suggest you attend an Energy Affects class.  We have class a few times in November and December (www.miylana.com).  We are offering a two part seminar on energy.  These teleseminars are the beginning of training's we will be offering entitled Magic and Mysteries.  These first two will take an in depth look at the idea of energy and explore tools to protect yourself, project yourself more clearly, and recognize energetic messages from others.  If you still haven't shared this work with your friends and family; now is the time to do so.  It's so important that everyone begin to recognize just how they are creating their life and how energy works.  We can help so many people if we start to understand, use the tools, and more fully explain how all of this works.  It's time to give everyone the gift of new perception!
​
​- Christine

How to Raise Your Vibration

"Raise your vibration" is a term that is thrown around a lot these days, and especially in the sort of work we do here at Miylana.  Janice relays often that the earth is going through an intense period of change where the planet's vibration is becoming faster/higher.  If you are curious about how and why this is happening, I suggest an article by Our Ultimate Reality for an explanation on vibrational changes in our world.

Vibration can be used to describe the physical characteristic of a particle or wave, and this is it's more scientific usage.  We also use it to describe the feeling we may get from someone, as in "he gave me a weird vibe," or the Beach Boys' famous song "Good Vibrations."  For our purposes, these terms can be almost combined into the characteristic energy of a person or thing that another can perceive or detect.

One of the effects of the vibration of the Earth raising is that information, other people's energy and emotion, is traveling much faster.  This can effect us by making us feel ungrounded, really sensitive to things like light and sound or each other, and we may feel more emotional.  Emotions are energy too.  If you are all over the place with regard to your emotions, do some of the following exercises to help yourself ground and re-calibrate the energy.  These exercises help you to ride the wave of the energy, as opposed to being stuck under the swell getting crushed by the power of the breaking wave.  When you are aligned with the higher vibration, you will feel more joyous.  When you aren't, well then - watch out!

THOUGHTS, ENERGY, AND EMOTIONAL CONTAGIONS

Janice teaches that thoughts and feelings have energy.  I believe we can all relate to this idea.  When we meet up with a friend who is having a tough time, we may recognize that something is the matter before we even speak to them.  Our minds and bodies are very adept at picking up on cues, and so some people may explain this away as our subconscious minds being aware of the person's state of distress as evident from an obvious clue, like bags under their eyes, or clothes in disarray, etc.  But if a person has no perceivable change to their exterior, we can still recognize how they are feeling.  Sadness, happiness, and excitement all have characteristic energetic signatures that an attuned antennae can pick up from another person.

We can also pick up emotions from each other.  In Psychology, they call this the emotional contagion, and many studies confirm what we know intuitively.  One person feeling downtrodden or angry has been shown to effect the people close to them.  Thoughts, feelings, and even reading rude words, or being exposed to angry or violent media will also have an effect on how we feel and go about our lives.

We absorb the attitudes and emotions of what we are exposed to, and often act on them.  We feel less happy with ourselves and our performance when we are around unhappy people.  Even though this emotion begins with someone else, we take it on as our own.

Thoughts have energy - are energy, in fact.  Neurons in our brain interact, releasing various chemical and electrical signals.  Tendencies of human behavior including facial mimicry, and related brain chemistry indicate that we commonly and unintentionally pass around and feel the effects of another person's bad, or good mood.

Learning how to be in control, rather than at the whim of this process is a major aspect of working with Janice.  It often entails figuring out how to identify when something - a feeling or a thought - isn't actually yours, and learning to override it with your own, more positive, feeling or thought.  Practice makes perfect here.

So where does vibration come in?  While we cannot, yet, measure someone's vibration; the idea is that low vibrational energy encompasses all of the feelings we typically find uncomfortable, such as anger, fear, frustration, sadness, or worry.  These feelings often result in disordered thoughts, and chemical changes in the brain that increase in power the more these feelings are felt.  This contrasts to high vibrational energy.  High vibrational energy results from positive thinking, feelings like joy and happiness.  You might, literally, feel like you are walking on air.  This feeling is excited and gifts you with the feeling that you are elevated, aware and can see potential pitfalls and problems from above.  Others can also feel this heightened joyful feeling when they are around you, and may feel happier around you.

Still, it's easy to get wrapped up in a negative emotion and fall back into a lower vibration.

Studies have also shown that a negative event holds multiple times the impact of a positive one.  That means that when something bad happens, it makes a much bigger impression and takes longer to recover from than a positive event.  '“Put another way, you are more upset about losing $50 than you are happy about gaining $50,”' relays this article from the NY Times.  When we come into contact with a negative person, you are more likely to get pulled into their bad mood than pull them out of it.

So what does all this mean?  It means that you have to work, really work, to maintain a healthy positive or even just neutral outlook.  Our psychology, and our brains are hardwired to pay attention to the negative, to absorb those uncomfortable emotions from others, and to emulate them.

So let's talk about how to raise your vibration.  It should follow, based on the studies and information above, that much of it has to begin in the brain - with your thoughts.  I asked Janice what we should do to improve our vibration and make it easier to have a positive outlook.  Here's what she said:

A FEW WAYS TO RAISE YOUR VIBRATION:

1.  SHUT UP.

No, really, this is what she said.  She said we really need to shut up and listen more.  Not necessarily to each other, but to ourselves.  Our own thoughts.  She said many of us are not at all aware of what we are thinking, and so can more easily be affected by those around us.

2.  SAY/THINK SOMETHING POSITIVE- CREATE A MANTRA

Replace your repetitive inner monologue ("I have to get to the bank, I don't have time, I'm late for this thing, my friend is being an asshole, I want this thing and it's not happening, ugh!") with something much more positive.  Create your own personal mantra full of significant keywords for what you really need in your life: not a better job but more happiness, not more money but more abundance, not someone to listen to you and do what you want all the time but more love.

Ex: I am in the process of creating my life.  I now call more love, abundance, peace, and joy into my life.

Then repeat it.  Whenever you fall into a negativity trap and begin to feel dissatisfied, use your mantra, and smile.  Smiling has a wonderfully positive impact on the brain.

3.  TAKE A BREAK.

We're all running around like chickens with our heads cut off most of the time, are aren't in touch with how we really feel.  People really do need to learn to stop, and take a break.  In Janice's words, "feel the sun on your face."  When you do this, you may be surprised to see that you are actually feeling fine, and whatever was happening before was a result of rushing, or being around someone who is giving off some low vibrational energy.

4.  SHAKE IT OFF.

This is one of Janice's go to exercises.  Put on some upbeat music and shake, moving your body, and imagine excess energy falling into the Earth to be recycled.  Do this for a few minutes, and then put on a slower, more meditative song.  Stand still, rooted to the Earth.  Your hands should be placed on your belly below your belly button and over your hip bones.  Feel comfortable and breathe deep, imaging white light entering your head through the top of your skull and filling you from the bottom up.

IN CONCLUSION

While we still can't measure our own vibration and see where we are at on a high to low scale, we can certainly be aware of it and recognize that when we are feeling better; things go smoother, and we can find more joy in them.  High vibrational energy is all around us, carrying with it energetic signals and messages that come in the form of intuition when we can match them with our own high vibrational energy.  If we are vibrating lower, they may feel more like anxiety and seem overwhelming.  If we really aren't receptive to them, they can jam the circuits of our mind so to speak, and we may feel like hiding or numbing out.  Regardless, this energy is here to stay so the better choice would be to learn how to thrive in it.  If you do, you'll see that other things don't effect you so much, and that, what's more, you can have a positive impact on those around you.  Now, those are some good vibes.

Next Class: Energy Affects on Thursday August 20th at 6pm

CLASS RESCHEDULE- PLEASE CHECK BACK FOR NEW DATE/TIME OR SIGN UP FOR EMAIL LIST BY GOING HERE.

Why Come to This Class?


- Have you been feeling extra sensitive? Overwhelmed? Exhausted? Cranky?

- Do you feel like you have no time for yourself?

- Are you having trouble focusing?

- Do you feel yourself getting angry and frustrated easily?

- Are you beating yourself up?

- Do you flip flop between extreme emotions and then all the sudden you are ok again?




You DO NOT have to feel like this! This class will help you to break through the illusion of these negative feelings to see how YOU actually feel. We're all being bombarded by these high intensity emotions from people around us and taking them on as our own.




In this class, we explore how we pick up thoughts and feelings from others around us, learn to block and protect ourselves, and create healthier connections.

It is so important to begin to use our gifts consciously instead of just acting like a sponge. You will be AMAZED how much better and more like yourself you will feel after this class.

Price:
$60

***Bring a friend special!***
Buy one, get the second half off! ($45/person)

Finding Meaning in Tragedy

UPDATE: After posting this, we received feedback from one of Janice's clients, Jeff W., who lives in Charleston. He wanted to let us know how the community has been responding:

"I was reading your post about the tragedy here and wanted to tell you what our experience has been. Sandy, Sophie and I have been attending many of the vigil's since it happened. To say the least, it has been an amazing, uplifting, inspiring experience for all of us. The family, friends and associates of the deceased have responded with Love and Forgiveness since day 1! Unbelievable, to say the least. We have not seen a moment of hatred, bigotry, or violence.. Sunday night, for example, we all went to the Ravenel bridge vigil where upwards of 20,000 people from all faith's and denominations showed up to join hands in unity to pray for love, forgiveness, peace and acceptance. We renamed the Ravenel to the "Bridge for Peace" for the night. The people, police, firefighters, politicians, relatives of the deceased, joined hands on the bridge to shout this message. People were high fiving, raising their hands in the peace sign. Cars traveling on the bridge were blowing their horns. Everyone had a huge smile on their faces. I was so grateful to be there. For this moment in time, from this community, a message to the world and beyond has been sent out! I am so proud to live here in Charleston County right now. I think it all started at the bond hearing for the young man who committed the crime. Relatives of the deceased attended and instead of screaming out their grief, turned to him and said, "I forgive you"! Not a new message for sure, but, in this case, a new astounding reaction to a violent act. Well, we all heard their voice. For this moment we have woken up and joined them in celebrating peace, love and forgiveness instead of hatred and violent reactions. I think God is smiling right now. I only hope this message travels far and wide and doesn't fade away too soon. It has changed many of us here in Charleston. Three cheers for this community and the people who started it!"


ORIGINAL POST: The Charleston shooting has been on the periphery of my vision. It was only today that I could really think about what it means and why it happened. To think about the horror of such an act, and how many we've had to process recently, it really is hard to come up with ways to explain it or find purpose in it.

As most of you know from working with me, the guides teach that we create the circumstances of our lives for a reason and to learn. The people who lost their lives the night of the shooting were prayerful, loving, beautiful people. Many close to them attest to their goodness and their kindness. The idea that something like this befell them, these good people, is tragic. Still, I can't help but find meaning in the fact that these people, these good people, would not have wanted their deaths to be used as fodder for hate or for fear. These good people would have wanted the tragedy of their deaths to somehow inspire connection, love, and understanding. It is with that in mind that I think we may find a way forward. It would be so understandable if people retracted, hid themselves, and stopped taking risks. Of course, a part of us wants to not face the problems in our society that need fixing at all; addressing mental health, race inequality, and weapon control not the least of these. How do we come to an agreement with so many dissenting voices?

Far from hiding, and playing into the illusion of our separateness; we must take this moment to connect even more to those in our community, to cross boundaries, and to stop being afraid of that which we don't have much experience with. Often, when we approach the thing we have anxiety about; all fear drops away and we are left wondering why we were afraid in the first place! We are so afraid of being judged, of not being accepted; sometimes we stop trying. Fostering our own worth of self and continuing to be an emissary for light in this world, despite the obstacles entailed, will remove these fears. Perceived judgement cannot touch you when you know and love yourself as much as you deserve.

Help support those who who need it in finding assistance, be aware of those in our lives that are not receiving what they require and take action, support equality, bridge understanding and differences, and alter your way of life to make more time for connection: these are the things that will help us to move into a more peaceful and happier world. I believe that this is what the shooting in Charleston can teach us. Let us honor these amazing souls by endeavoring to create a better, kinder world. Maybe, if we can start to create that world, these atrocities will end.

Remember, we are all connected. If you are feeling sad or overwhelmed by emotions circulating right now, remember to bless the feeling and then shake it off and let it go. You will be better able to handle everything from a place of quiet.

Thank you so much Jeff for sharing this with us and for sharing your love with the community of Charleston. It's people like you and your family that are really doing the work of bringing everyone to the next level!

5 Ways to Feel Better Now!

Sometimes we are so trapped in the moment that we fail to see the easy ways we can begin to shift our mood.  One of the most basic components of our emotional world are our thoughts.  Thoughts can lead to emotional reactions.  Recognizing what we are thinking, being aware of our inner monologue and what we are saying to ourselves, especially the repetitive statements is incredibly important.  Unfortunately, the nature of the brain is that frequently used pathways become stronger.  That's why practicing is so important when it comes to playing an instrument.  The repetitive motion of your fingers on the guitar or piano creates links in the brain that increase processing and reaction to the visual and audio cues you are creating, making it easier to play and improvise. We forget that those same idea would mean that what we are thinking is what we will be feeling and creating.  If we're constantly engaging in negative self talk, our experience of the world will be more negative.  So many studies have shown that our mental attitude is important for how we feel about our lives.  If we feel people are untrustworthy, if we see the world as cruel; we tend to only see the evidence for our beliefs, and completely discount anything that contradicts our strongly held belief.  If we believe our family takes us for granted, we put much more weight on the times that they did not come through for us than the times that they did.  So what, they cooked us dinner?  Came to our baseball games? Went out of the way to listen to my problems?  They're supposed to do that, they're family.

The experiences we code as "negative" impact us so much more than "positive" as well.  Studies show that troubling images and negative words impact the brain 5xs as much as good or uplifting images or words.  Why is that?  Scientists postulate that it may have to do with survival.  Threats to our livelihood needed to have a greater impact on our minds so we could take swift action.


So what does all this mean for feeling better?  On the bright side, it means that your emotions are pliable, and that a little bit of effort can completely alter our mental state.  Many times we just accept our feelings and think there is nothing we can do to change it.  "It is what it is!" We say.  That's where a perspective shift can come in handy.  Here are some simple ways to feel better now, right now.

1.  Write down how you are feeling.
Grab a paper and pen, or sit at the computer, and just begin to write it all down.  Thoughts carry an energy that can be released when you express them.  Writing, especially, is wonderful for this because getting your thoughts down linearly make them easier to process.  Sometimes, when we are upset, we get into circular thinking in which we are constantly thinking about the problem.  Simply write them down, put them in an email to us if you want! (miylana@aol.com) Try to use the space of writing to process where the thoughts and feelings are coming from.

2.  Shake it off.
Literally! No really!  Get up.  This is so helpful whether you are feeling angry or sad.   Put on some high tempo music and just shake it off.  Move around.  Dance if you want to.  Allow yourself to really express the anger and try to visually imagine physical energy dropping off you into the ground where it can be processed.  If you're feeling sad, watch that sluggish grief fall away and reveal the abundance of joy you have at your core.

3.  Go out in nature.
Nature has such a healing and beneficial effect on us.  Studies show that just 20 minutes in nature can greatly change the way our brain is processing information.  Go someplace quiet and sit.  Notice the natural world around you.  Or go for a walk, and let the movement and changing landscape help to quiet your mind.  We often forget that we are an aspect of nature that has, for many of us, removed ourselves from the natural world.  Being in a natural setting calls to the part of us that is nature itself.  Did you know the mineral compositions found in the ocean are also found in the human body, at the same percentages?  This fact alone implies just how much apart of nature we are; and how much it is apart of us.

4.  Imagine being someplace peaceful.
If you can't leave for a walk or dance, maybe you are at work, then go someplace for 10 minutes and visualize somewhere that makes you happy and is peaceful. Breathe deep, and imagine being there.  Studies show that the areas of the brain in charge of perception and the areas of the brain responsible for imagination are very similar.  That means that our brains don't necessarily know the difference between when we see the beach when we are there on the weekend, and when we are imagining being at the beach when we are actually sitting at the desk.  Conjure the feeling of your special place with all of your five senses.  The imagination is incredibly powerful.  Think about what this means when you are imagining potential negative scenarios in your mind or watching negative TV- your brain may think that those bad things are actually happening to you and may create a stress response in you.  And we wonder why we are stressed out!?

5.  Think positive thoughts.
If these other options aren't working for you, then we suggest consciously thinking positive thoughts or words.  Affirmations are an example of positive thinking that helps to re-wire a brain that is used to negative thinking.  You have to start somewhere!  Look at happy videos online, or funny pictures.  Surround yourself in your office and home with images that make you happy or are inspiring to you.  Even just thinking positive words like beauty, love, kindness, gentleness, caring, joy, abundance, happiness, and etc. can start to do the work of creating a neutral mindset, if not a positive one.  Remember that negative experiences have 5x the impact of positive ones, so that means it will take 5xs the effort to set you just back to neutrality after something that's upset you, like an argument or a stressful car ride, etc.

The thing that is most distressing is when people don't do these simple tasks to feel better because they don't think it's worth it, or think that they don't deserve to feel better.  The simple fact that these exercises work is proof enough to me that it is your right to feel better! Why else would it be so easy to alter your attitude?  If you can do it, why wouldn't you do it?  Your mind is a bundle of synapses and chemicals that work together to create a rough estimation of what's happening around and to you.  For the most part, many of us just let it do it's thing and think that if we are feeling bad, we must deserve it on some level.  Why else would we be feeling this way?  Studies show though, that so much of those emotions are arbitrary, or dictated by survival instincts that aren't compatible with today's world.  We can use the way our minds' work to improve our lives, so let's do it!  You deserve to feel good.  All it takes is a change of perspective!  Let me know how it goes!