Why It's Important to Take Care of Yourself.

Recently, many clients have been saying that they feel pulled towards helping others. People are feeling more altruistic, and like that is where there passion and purpose lies. And that's wonderful! We're becoming so much better at reading each other. Caring for each other is a wonderful step towards moving the world in the direction it needs to go!

What happens, though, is that sometimes in our effort to assist others; we run ourselves ragged. We forget to take care of ourselves.

Taking care of ourselves is so important now. We are all connected, so even if you are bending over backwards to help another; if you yourself don't feel good, they can (and do!) absorb that feeling. This wonderful article on emotional contagions from Psychology Today cites many studies that show when someone is feeling unhappy, the people around them can begin to feel bad too! It is much easier to bring people down than it is to build them up. If you feel tired, it is much more likely that someone's bad mood will effect you. Protecting yourself from another's moods and anxiety is important but challenging if you're overwhelmed. Conjuring the presence of mind and awareness that someone around you is affecting you is much harder if you are tired, or are not feeling fulfilled yourself.

As much as some of us would like to, we cannot actually take care of others to the extent we would like. We cannot make others happy, we cannot truly help them to feel better. In the end, everyone's personal happiness is the result of their own choice.  All of you have met people we can see have met with incredible challenges who face each day with exuberance and gratitude. We have, also, all known people who have been given much help and benefits in life who are miserable and seem stuck. What is the difference between these two people? It is their own attitude. While it is so tempting to think that if we just gave more, we might be able to convince someone to change for the better, or give up harmful habits; all we can really do is let them know that we care and express our love in our words and deeds. If you are constantly putting yourself last after others, you are doing yourself - and them - a disservice.

In the end, the only person who can make you happy is yourself! Taking care of yourself, doing what you need to do to feel better and making yourself a priority is a wonderful way to inspire other's to do the same. Give permission to yourself to feel good, and you'll be a better influence on the people in your life to take care of themselves. What's more, even if people act like they need the help, your running around doing everything for them can sometimes make others feel guilty, like they are incapable themselves, or makes them feel like they should do the same. Everyone is running, and no one is getting anywhere. There are many reasons we do this.


We feel like we have to keep up.
We don't feel like we deserve to rest or feel good while others are working so hard or feeling bad.
We simply forget to stop and take a breather.
We feel like there is too much to do.
We don't recognize that we need a break.
We fear other's judgement.
We don't want to look at something we've been avoiding.
We think there is someone in our lives who won't let us take a break.


In the end, we must give ourselves permission to relax. Feel like you don't have time? Go somewhere, close the door, and take 10 minutes to just sit. Look at your schedule, and see if you can't rearrange it for something you enjoy that you haven't been able to do recently, even if all that entails is taking a bubble bath and reading a favorite book. If it's been awhile since you've done something for yourself, and you can't really remember what it is that used to help you to relax then take the time to sit down and remember the last time you truly felt at peace and try to recreate that.

You really are not a help to anyone a stressed out basket case. Just like you want the people in your life that you care about to be happy; they also want you to be happy. Why do we feel like we have to do it all? It is time to slow down and go within. You need fuel to do everything you want to do, so that means letting your system rest. We can help each other much more easily if we have the resources and energy to do so. So, go take some time for you!